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Pam Bondi is the Attorney General of the United States. Here, she is re-imagined as a stork-legged exotic bird. Whenever I see images of her, the first thing I think of is a bird of some kind. This doesn't really look like her face. It looks more like a beauty pageant runner-up from Colorado. |
By now, most people are aware of the deranged, unhinged, screeching testimony Attorney General Pam Bondi gave on Capitol Hill the other day.
Here's a list of 15 questions she refused to answer during that testimony.
People hate Pam Bondi.
Personally, I wish she was President. Trump is no fun anymore, since he succumbed to senile dementia.
Watching Pam implode on national TV every now and then would be a welcome respite from the steady drumbeat of bad news to which we've all become accustomed.
But that's not going to happen, so let's just talk smack about Pam for a few minutes, yeah?
Here are 3 Fun Facts About Pam Bondi:
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Troubled Pam Bondi imagined as a stork. |
1. She Delayed an Execution so she could attend a Fund-raiser
Marshall Lee Gore was a horrible person. During a spree of violence in 1988, he brutally murdered at least three women, raped one of them, raped at least one other woman, and kidnapped the ten-year-old son of one of his murder victims.
Bizarrely, he tried to pass off the boy as his own son.
Gore spent 25 years in prison, being tried, and re-tried, and having his sanity questioned.
Finally, the State of Florida decided to execute him in 2013. Governor Rick Scott scheduled the execution for September 10. The state Attorney General is normally available on Execution Day in case of any last-minute appeals.
Pam Bondi was the Florida Attorney General at the time. But September 10 wouldn't work for her. See, because she was running for re-election that year, and had a fund-raising dinner planned for that evening.
Scott re-scheduled the execution for October 1.
Bondi was a vocal supporter of the Florida "Timely Justice Act," which was designed to speed up executions.
When the reason for the re-schedulement came out, Bondi issued a public apology, promising to never do that again.
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Capitol Hill (angry) Pam Bondi imagined as a pelican. Remember kids, ChatGPT can make mistakes. |
2. She took what appeared to be a $25,000 bribe from Donald Trump, then tried to give it back
Surprisingly, Donald Trump seems to have bribed Bondi back in 2013, or attempted to.
And she seems to have attempted to accept the bribe. Then she attempted to give the check back.
Only one out of the three attempts failed, which I suppose is no surprise at all.
It happened when the Donald's famous scam Trump University was being sued for fraud by the State Attorney General of New York.
As Florida Attorney General, Bondi was considering joining the lawsuit. She then solicited a donation from Trump for a political action committee (PAC) called "And Justice for All," with which she was associated, and which was supporting her re-election campaign.
The Donald J. Trump Foundation sent And Justice for All a check for $25,000. It's against federal law for a nonprofit organization to give money to a PAC, but no one at either group seemed to understand this.
Trump sent a personal letter to accompany the check. On the letter, Pam's name was spelled "Pam Biondi."
Soon after, the Office of the Attorney General of Florida declined to join the lawsuit against Trump University, despite 22 fraud complaints they had received from Florida citizens.
After the donation controversy erupted into the public eye, And Justice for All sent a $25,000 check to the Trump Foundation, but the Foundation refused to accept it.
Trump was fined $2,500 by the IRS for the illegal political donation. In 2018, the Trump Foundation was dissolved after dozens of crimes and irregularities came to light.
Trump himself ended up paying more than $2 million in damages for illegal use of Trump Foundation funds.
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This is Pam Biondi. It's what she actually looks like, present tense. Am I crazy, or do you see some resemblance to a bird here? |
3. Her appearance keeps changing
We're all getting older, and as we do, the way we look changes.
That doesn't really explain what's happening to Pam Biondi, though.
She has changed a lot. Oh, she's not like the ICE Barbie Kristi Noem, who now appears to be wearing a rubber Kristi Noem Halloween mask on her face.
But Pam has changed.
At one point, she lost a lot of weight, apparently about 50 pounds. Good on her. There are a lot of benefits to losing weight, if you have too much.
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The Pam Biondi weight-loss journey was covered closely in tabloid newspapers, as I'm sure you can well imagine. |
But since then, other changes have taken place, which are not as easy to explain.
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She's been on a weight-loss journey, but it might be time to turn back. |
Some people think she's lost too much weight. Stress will do that to you. Supporting the Teflon Donald is one of the most stressful things you can do.
You end up tanking hard, and he goes right along doing that thing that he does.
Others think Pam has had plastic surgery.
If she has, it's starting to look like the plastic is melting under the harsh glare of the lighting in Congress.
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The Harpy, a creature from Greek and Roman mythology. With the body of a bird and the face of a woman, Harpies were originally thought to be greedy and steal food, and to embody the destructive nature of wind. Later, they were depicted as guardians of the Underworld. |
Words of Wisdom
"Bird-bodied, girl-faced things they (Harpies) are; abominable their droppings, their hands are talons, their faces haggard with hunger insatiable."
- Virgil
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