I Like Candidates Who Don't Get Shot

 

Presidential candidate Donald Trump at the moment an assassin's bullet hit his ear.

A Dog's Life

"Nervous Dog," acrylic paint on canvas, one of the very first art works by Otto Von Miller.  Was it beginner's luck?

Click here to buy this artwork on Etsy.

That Time Jimi Hendrix Predicted Climate Change

The Jimi Hendrix Experience in 1967.  From left to right, drummer Mitch Mitchell, bass player Noel Redding, and mystical shaman Jimi Hendrix.

Miles Davis in Paris

Miles Davis, photographed in 1957, the year he went to Paris and recorded the soundtrack for the French film Ascenseur pour l'échafaud.

Miles Davis - Kind of Blue

The original 1959 cover of Kind of Blue, by Miles Davis.  Interestingly (if you're Thee Optimist), the cover has the song list on it.  Later covers list the star-studded lineup of musicians who participated in the recording.

And the Band Played On

The Maxwell Street Klezmer Band plays during the 2022 Highland Park Fourth of July parade.  At first, the musicians didn't hear the gunfire, and kept playing while terrified paradegoers ran past.  Watch the video below. 

Enter Thee Judges

The six conservative members of the United States Supreme Court emerge to announce their ruling on Dobbs vs. Jackson Women's Health Organization, the landmark decision ending federal protection for a woman's right to obtain an abortion.  Nah, just joking.  It's the Taliban.  They issue similar rulings.

The South Will Fall. Again.

Thomas D. Rice, a white entertainer in blackface, depicted as his popular minstrel slave character "Jim Crow," circa 1830s.

Did You Find Your AI Soulmate Yet?

Look familiar?  This woman does not exist.  She was generated by an artificial intelligence that combines random human features, based on parameters you set.  The parameters I set, in this case, were "beautiful" "female" "young adult" and "joyful."  This pic makes me uncomfortable.  Generate your own fake humans at Generated Photos.

Come Fly With Thee

Thee Optimist in the cockpit, giving the thumbs up.  All systems go.  Welcome to the blog post where Thee Optimist simply uploads GoPro (knockoff) video of a recent helicopter ride, for your viewing enjoyment.

The Greatest Moment in Music History

This is David Achter de Molen, singer of the now-defunct Dutch rock band John Coffey, walking on the crowd at the Pinkpop Festival in 2015.  De Molen was the central figure during the greatest moment in music history.

Why Does God Hate America?

 

"Who can stand before his indignation? Who can confront the heat of his fury? His wrath pours out like fire; the rocks are shattered because of him."  Nahum 1:6.
Ruh roh.  God is clearly pissed at America.

The Boomerang Vs. The Ripple Effect

Life isn't always like this.  Which is too bad.

I Have the Buffalo Shooter's Manifesto

This is 18-year-old Payton Gendron, the young man who killed 10 people at a Buffalo supermarket on Saturday.  He chose this image, posing with a Bushmaster XM-15 rifle, to portray himself in the 180-page manifesto he posted online.  I have the manifesto and will give it to you, if you want.

Sexbots, Immortality, and Robot Polar Bears

This interview with Thee Optimist appeared on a website called Disinformation, in September of 2015.  It is about the implications of my novel Sexbot.  The above people are supposed to be Sexbots, I guess.  They look all too real.

The Rise and Fall of a Dive Bar Regular

Guest Post by Brian Whitney 

Author Brian Whitney doing what he does best.

"I am what is commonly known as a binge drinker." 

Timmy's Invisible Friend

 

Now YOU Can Nuke Your Own Neighborhood. Here's How:

Pepe the Frog looks out at a nuclear inferno over his city.  Pepe was a popular right-wing meme during the Trump years, although Thee Optimist certainly has plenty of left-wing Pepe memes.  Pepe is flexible like that. 

This Might Explain Some Things

It's been clear for some time that IQs are dropping across the Western world.  Now, at least in America, we have a hint about one of the culprits.

Joe Rogaine CANCELLED?

 

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Words of Wisdom

“Accept the truth from whatever source it comes.”

- Moses Maimonides

Elephant in the Room: the Limits of Nuclear Deterrence

Ruh-roh.  Turns out the BIG 5 nuclear powers aren't as stable as we might like.  And the others (call them the small 4)?  They are all an accident waiting to happen.

Trump the Anti-War President?

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Words of Wisdom

"A nuclear weapons free world is not a dream, but a necessity for human survival.  We need to stop waiting for things to happen.  We need to go ahead and make things happen."

- Amit Ray

Does anybody here remember Vera Lynn?

Remember how she said that we would meet again some sunny day?

Has Putin had a stroke?  He seems a little off these days.  Nuclear threats aren't really a laughing matter, but then again...

Words of Wisdom

"Based on the findings of the report, my conclusion was that this idea was not a practical deterrent for reasons which at this moment must be all too obvious."   - Dr. Strangelove

Where do the Sackler family live?

The gruesome faces of evil: Mortimer Sackler Jr., and his wife Jacqueline Sackler.  The 40 or so members of the Sackler family have been the chief beneficiaries of the opioid epidemic that has killed hundreds of thousands of people in the United States.  And a few of these Sacklers are surprisingly easy to find.

900,000 Dead in Two Years?

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War on Covid?

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They're Trying to Ban Books Again (as if they ever stopped)

Fahrenheit 451: Followers of Christian pastor Greg Locke toss books onto a bonfire in Nashville suburb Mt. Juliet, Tennessee, on February 2, 2022.  Books that burned included selections from the Harry Potter and Twilight series (these encourage devil-worship and witchcraftery), among many others.  One counter-protester tossed the Bible on there.  Greg Locke is also known for encouraging his followers to attend the January 6, 2021 Capitol riot.  

Whom The Gods Would Destroy...

DJ Ferguson is a 31-year-old Massachusetts man, a father of two children, with a third on the way.  He is in heart failure, and is being denied a heart transplant because of his refusal to get a Covid-19 vaccine.  There are only so many extra hearts floating around, and if you're vulnerable to infection from Covid, you're not a candidate to get one. 

Whitey on the Moon

A tearful William Shatner (yes, of Captain Kirk fame) bleats on about something while vulture capitalist Jeff Bezos daydreams of tearing into Shatner's soft flesh.  On October 13, 2021, the 90-year-old Canadian actor rode on Bezos's Blue Origin flying machine to sub-orbital space.  Thus, Shatner became the oldest person to not quite do what Russian cosmonaut Yuri Gagarin first did more than 60 years earlier. 

What is a Paradigm Shift and Why do We Need One?

Earthrise, a photograph taken from lunar orbit by the Apollo 8 astronaut William Anders, on December 24, 1968.  At the time, this pic was thought to have shown people the limits of growth.  Then everyone forgot.

Why Do Trump Supporters Desecrate the Flag?

This hideous piece of trash cheapens the symbol of America.  It is also against the law.  And yet, they keep doing it, over and over again.  Why?

When the Levee Breaks

Memphis Minnie and Kansas Joe McCoy.  Memphis Minnie wrote the original version of "When the Levee Breaks," and recorded it in 1929 with her second husband and musical partner Kansas Joe.

The Case Against Free Will

Albert Einstein, age 42.  Einstein may have been the smartest human who has ever lived.  To paraphrase No Country for Old Men: "If he ain't, he'll do til the smartest one gets here."  Einstein believed that we do not have free will.

Oh, the Humanity - "Come and See" may be the best war movie of all time

A Nazi storm trooper holds a gun to the head of the 13-year-old boy Flyora in Come and See, the most harrowing war movie you will ever see.  At the bottom of this post, you can watch it if you dare.

How To Get Lucky

I feel lucky already.

The Curious Case of Khloe Kardashian

Khloe Kardashian is one of the world famous Kardashian sisters, who are wonderful influences on girls and women everywhere.  Khloe consistently chooses to present her appearance in the media as you see it above.  Interestingly, this is not what she looks like in real life.  And her fantasy was recently punctured by the release of an unauthorized photo.

Enter the Cathedral

Giant sequoia trees at Calaveras Big Trees State Park in California.  We have a lot to learn, and trees can help us. 

How to Read Paywalled News Sites for FREE

April 15, 1912 edition of The World newspaper.  Headline, "above the fold," as people used to say.  More than 1,500 people died in the Titanic disaster.  

Moratorium on Mass Shootings Declared

We have another winner: 21-year-old Robert Aaron Long of Georgia is a young guy with a bad beard.  He shot and killed eight people at Atlanta area Asian massage parlors a little over a week ago, apparently because he is a "sex addict," and being a sex addict bothers him.  But he's not the only one who's been doing mass shootings these days.

Want to become Happier? Try a Gratitude List

Studies show that being thankful for things will change your life.  Ready?  Me, too.

I Shot Elephants in South Africa (with a camera)

Elephant in Kruger National Park.  Southern African elephants are the largest land animals, and thought to be among the most intelligent animals, on Earth.  They face serious ongoing threats to their continued existence.  From us, naturally.

I'm Not Glad That Rush Limbaugh is Dead

Mug shot of Rush Limbaugh after a 2006 arrest for possession of more than 2,000 pills obtained under fake prescriptions.  Opiate addict, outrageous hypocrite, science-denier, racist, sexist, all around ignorant blowhard (and garish tie salesman), Limbaugh embodied many of the things that went wrong in the United States.  He was also one of the most popular radio hosts in American history.

2020 - Worst Year Ever

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There Is No Way Out

Christopher Thomas Knight, aka the North Pond Hermit, in custody of beefy Maine game wardens, April 2013.  Knight spend 27 years without human contact in the Maine woods.  But did he really?

Blood Pressure Too High? Drink Hibiscus Tea.

Unfortunately, you don't usually get this kind of early warning when you have high blood pressure.  But if you do, one way to beat it is by drinking hibiscus tea.     

Tom Brady Sleeps A LOT. Inside a Coffin. During the Daytime.

 

This week, the ageless wonder Tom Brady is back in the Super Bowl for what seems like the 57th time, and with a different team.  No one understands this.  Could it be his sleep habits?  

FLORIDA.

What's Wrong With Texas?

They be some COVID-19 cowboys in Texas.  Texans were early adopters of the Great Reopening of America, once again proving that big hats do not equal big brains.  If I were modeling these styles, I would look equally as sheepish as this man does.

Here's a hint: Texas is doomed.

Lying Ass Motherfuckers

Unidentified old man lays on the ground and bleeds from the head in Buffalo after tough guy cops half his age pushed him down.

Trump and the "CoronaVirus"

No doubt about it, Donald Trump is the President of the United States.  He is therefore in charge of the Great American Coronavirus Response, ongoing now.

He is also an overlarge, orange manbaby.  He routinely demonstrates the attention span, self-absorption, and intellectual capacity of a four-year-old boy.

In the interest of science, Thee Optimist has hazarded a few guesses about what runs through that tiny little mind of his, when thinking about the worldwide pandemic currently threatening the world.

Yes, please do.  Feel free to leave your own clever captions in the comments section below.