Thursday, April 15, 2021

The Curious Case of Khloe Kardashian

Khloe Kardashian is one of the world famous Kardashian sisters, who are wonderful influences on girls and women everywhere.  Khloe consistently chooses to present her appearance in the media as you see it above.  Interestingly, this is not what she looks like in real life.  And her fantasy was recently punctured by the release of an unauthorized photo.

Thursday, April 8, 2021

Enter the Cathedral

Calaveras Big Trees State Park
Giant sequoia trees at Calaveras Big Trees State Park in California.  We have a lot to learn, and trees can help us. 

Thursday, April 1, 2021

How to Read Paywalled News Sites for FREE

April 15, 1912 edition of The World newspaper.  Headline, "above the fold," as people used to say.  More than 1,500 people died in the Titanic disaster.  

Thursday, March 25, 2021

Moratorium on Mass Shootings Declared

We have another winner: 21-year-old Robert Aaron Long of Georgia is a young guy with a bad beard.  He shot and killed eight people at Atlanta area Asian massage parlors a little over a week ago, apparently because he is a "sex addict," and being a sex addict bothers him.  But he's not the only one who's been doing mass shootings these days.

Wednesday, March 17, 2021

Wednesday, March 10, 2021

I Shot Elephants in South Africa (with a camera)

Elephant in Kruger National Park
Elephant in Kruger National Park.  Southern African elephants are the largest land animals, and thought to be among the most intelligent animals, on Earth.  They face serious ongoing threats to their continued existence.  From us, naturally.

Tuesday, March 2, 2021

I'm Not Glad That Rush Limbaugh is Dead

Mug shot of Rush Limbaugh after a 2006 arrest for possession of more than 2,000 pills obtained under fake prescriptions.  Opiate addict, outrageous hypocrite, science-denier, racist, sexist, all around ignorant blowhard (and garish tie salesman), Limbaugh embodied many of the things that went wrong in the United States.  He was also one of the most popular radio hosts in American history.

Tuesday, February 16, 2021

There Is No Way Out

Christopher Thomas Knight, aka the North Pond Hermit, in custody of beefy Maine game wardens, April 2013.  Knight spend 27 years without human contact in the Maine woods.  But did he really?

Monday, February 8, 2021

Blood Pressure Too High? Drink Hibiscus Tea.

Unfortunately, you don't usually get this kind of early warning when you have high blood pressure.  But if you do, one way to beat it is by drinking hibiscus tea.     

Monday, February 1, 2021

Tom Brady Sleeps A LOT. Inside a Coffin. During the Daytime.

 
This week, the ageless wonder Tom Brady is back in the Super Bowl for what seems like the 57th time, and with a different team.  No one understands this.  Could it be his sleep habits?  

Wednesday, June 10, 2020

What's Wrong With Texas?

They be some COVID-19 cowboys in Texas.  Texans were early adopters of the Great Reopening of America, once again proving that big hats do not equal big brains.  If I were modeling these styles, I would look equally as sheepish as this man does.

Here's a hint: Texas is doomed.



Thursday, June 4, 2020

Lying Ass Motherfuckers

Unidentified old man lays on the ground and bleeds from the head in Buffalo after tough guy cops half his age pushed him down.

Wednesday, March 11, 2020

Trump and the "CoronaVirus"


No doubt about it, Donald Trump is the President of the United States.  He is therefore in charge of the Great American Coronavirus Response, ongoing now.

He is also an overlarge, orange manbaby.  He routinely demonstrates the attention span, self-absorption, and intellectual capacity of a four-year-old boy.

In the interest of science, Thee Optimist has hazarded a few guesses about what runs through that tiny little mind of his, when thinking about the worldwide pandemic currently threatening the world.










Yes, please do.  Feel free to leave your own clever captions in the comments section below.



Sunday, March 8, 2020

Why We Love Tattoos

Unless she's diabetic, the above sweet gal probably had a different kind of "pee" in mind for her tramp stamp.  But no matter.  Tattoos are meant to be fun.  

Tuesday, February 18, 2020

Coronavirus: Game Over?

Just a typical day in Wuhan, China.  Man relaxing in a local park, not a care in the world.  Little does he know that medical experts are actually worried this time.

Friday, February 7, 2020

Get Stoned and Make Barbie Porn


Lil McGill gets stoned and engages in some carpentry.  Barbie loves how her new Dream House comes out.

Tuesday, May 28, 2019

Tourist Trap

Hurry up and wait.  On May 22, 2019, dozens of people endure the hours-long line to reach the summit of Mount Everest.  Up here, in the so-called Death Zone, climbers are confronted by temperatures as low as 50 degrees below zero, high winds, and dangerously low levels of oxygen. 

Friday, May 24, 2019

You Are Made of Iron

When I was a young man, I worked briefly with the elvish Doug Osheroff, a Nobel Prize winning scientist who taught me something about myself that I didn't know.

Thursday, March 28, 2019

Are Seals Related To Dogs?

A wild seal dog.  Well, not really.  Just somebody's dog wrapped in a blanket like a burrito.

Thursday, March 21, 2019

Get Stoned and Make French Toast

French toast is delicious!  But it can take a while to make, especially when you get distracted by, uh... other things.  Watch video below.

Wednesday, March 13, 2019

Humans Will Be Obsolete Soon

Ray Kurzweil is among the smartest humans.  He takes great joy in making predictions.  The things he predicts appear to make him happy, but they are not good things.

Friday, March 1, 2019

The Insects Are Dying Off. It's About Time.

Wasp.  Ever get stung by one of these things?  I have.  Ouch!  Okay?  I thought I was having a heart attack.  I never want to be stung by a wasp again.  And since all the bugs are finally dying off, I just might get my wish. 

Tuesday, February 19, 2019

After All These Years, Alex Chiu is Still Immortal

Alex Chiu has been selling his magnetic immortality rings online since the early days of the internet. He's still at it, and is staying young forever. 
Alex Chiu is immortal unless he dies because of an accident or murder.  He sells immortality rings, which he claims on his website are the "most important invention in human history." 

Tuesday, February 12, 2019

Get Stoned and DO SOMETHING

Artists are forever seeking ways to unleash their creativity.  Altered states of consciousness are one way to do it.  And sometimes the results are better than expected!  

Sunday, February 10, 2019

Sunday, February 3, 2019

3 Infuriating Lies the President of the United States Told in 2018

Donald Trump as Pinocchio, the wooden puppet who dreams of becoming a real boy.  The Donald is wrestling with the the Truth, and the Truth is losing.

Thursday, January 31, 2019

With Role Models Like Geronimo and Crazy Horse...

Rod Coronado has spent six years in prison for his actions on behalf of animals.

Interview by Brian Whitney

Rod Coronado is one of the best-known eco-anarchists and environmental revolutionaries of our time.  A lot of us sit around talking about how much we care about the Earth and the animals.  Rod feels the same way, except he did shit about it that got him thrown in prison.

He is out now and working to protect animals in a more lawful way, but one that is hopefully no less effective.   

This interview first appeared in the book Subversive.

Friday, January 25, 2019

Mass Hysteria Is Fun

A young woman cries at a Beatles concert in 1965.  Hordes of weeping, screaming female fans were a prominent feature of the early Beatles years.  As they were during the early Frank Sinatra years two decades earlier.  And the early Elvis years.  And the early One Direction years.  And the early... you get the idea.

Wednesday, January 16, 2019

On the Streets, Serving the "Hardest to Serve."

For homeless outreach workers, hardcore alcoholics are some of the most difficult people to get off the streets. 

Wednesday, January 9, 2019

They Are Going to Blot Out the Sun (Part 3)

Remember Chemtrails?  This was the early-2000s era conspiracy theory that there were mysterious government airplanes in the sky, spraying chemicals.  Some people thought they were dropping poison to cull the human herd.  Others thought they were exposing us to mind control drugs.  Still others thought they were putting aerosols in the atmosphere to reflect sunlight back into outer space in an attempt to slow down global... never mind.

Tuesday, January 1, 2019

The Revolution Will Not Be Televised

Gil Scott-Heron, one of the fathers of rap music.  He said a lot of things.  One of the things he said was: "All the dreams you show up in are not your own."

Sunday, December 30, 2018

They Are Going to Blot Out the Sun (Part 2)

I thought I'd put a graphic here illustrating how industrial Carbon Sequestration is supposed to work.  But it was too complicated, and frankly, boring.  So instead we have a screen capture from the 1971 Japanese film, Godzilla Vs. The Smog Monster.  It's just as well.  Godzilla has about as much chance at saving our bacon as Carbon Sequestration.  

Monday, December 17, 2018

Tuesday, November 22, 2016

Where Does the Nazi Trump Salute Come From?

The United States is about to get its first full-fledged fascist President.  Everybody is excited, one way or the other.  As the situation unravels, and the future we were all looking forward to rapidly disintegrates, an interesting question has arisen - where does that Nazi Trump salute really come from? 

Thursday, September 29, 2016

Republican Thinks We're in a "Cooling Trend."

Send in the clowns.  Scary, ignorant people like Marsha Blackburn are almost funny, except they vote on things that affect our lives and the future of the human race.  Well... wait a minute.  I guess that is kind of funny.

Monday, August 29, 2016

Climate Change Stole My Future

There's no such thing as Global Warming.  Right?

Let me ask you a question.

Why bother writing about Climate Change, or Global Warming, or whatever you prefer to call it?  Why bother talking about it, or even thinking about it?


It seems to me that there are two likely possibilities here:


Wednesday, August 17, 2016

I Got Cyberbullied by the Men's Rights Movement

I made an innocent post about chimpanzees and bonobos on this blog.  Two years later, some men's rights activists became offended by it.  And they thought I was a woman... 

Saturday, August 6, 2016

How Would Donald Trump's Wall Get Built?

A woman stands on the Palestinian side of the Gaza Strip wall in Israel. Could the Donald build a similar wall between the US and Mexico?

Monday, May 30, 2016

Why Not Kill the Child Instead of the Gorilla?

This was Harambe.  He was a 17-year-old western lowland gorilla who lived at the Cincinnati Zoo.  He was shot and killed, ostensibly to save a small boy who fell into the gorilla enclosure.  Here's an idea not getting much play - why not shoot the boy and save the gorilla?

Saturday, January 2, 2016

Dumb People Doing Dumb Things: Thee Optimist Awards

At the end of each year (starting now), we present Thee Optimist Awards to three (or more, or less) people who made a name for themselves through some combination of overconfidence, stupidity and breathtaking ineptitude.  In other words, people being people.  For 2015, the winners are...