They Are Going to Blot Out the Sun (Part 2)

I thought I'd put a graphic here illustrating how industrial Carbon Sequestration is supposed to work.  But it was too complicated, and frankly, boring.  So instead we have a screen capture from the 1971 Japanese film, Godzilla Vs. The Smog Monster.  It's just as well.  Godzilla has about as much chance at saving our bacon as Carbon Sequestration.  

They Are Going to Blot Out the Sun (Part 1)

The sun is our enemy.  We can't turn it off, but we can make it dimmer.

Michael Avenatti Has Fallen Back to Earth

Remember this guy?  Michael Avenatti, the man who fell to Earth.

Where Does the Nazi Trump Salute Come From?

The United States is about to get its first full-fledged fascist President.  Everybody is excited, one way or the other.  As the situation unravels, and the future we were all looking forward to rapidly disintegrates, an interesting question has arisen - where does that Nazi Trump salute really come from? 

Republican Thinks We're in a "Cooling Trend."

Send in the clowns.  Scary, ignorant people like Marsha Blackburn are almost funny, except they vote on things that affect our lives and the future of the human race.  Well... wait a minute.  I guess that is kind of funny.

Climate Change Stole My Future

There's no such thing as Global Warming.  Right?

Let me ask you a question.

Why bother writing about Climate Change, or Global Warming, or whatever you prefer to call it?  Why bother talking about it, or even thinking about it?

It seems to me that there are two likely possibilities here:

I Got Cyberbullied by the Men's Rights Movement

I made an innocent post about chimpanzees and bonobos on this blog.  Two years later, some men's rights activists became offended by it.  And they thought I was a woman... 

How Would Donald Trump's Wall Get Built?

A woman stands on the Palestinian side of the Gaza Strip wall in Israel. Could the Donald build a similar wall between the US and Mexico?

Why Not Kill the Child Instead of the Gorilla?

This was Harambe.  He was a 17-year-old western lowland gorilla who lived at the Cincinnati Zoo.  He was shot and killed, ostensibly to save a small boy who fell into the gorilla enclosure.  Here's an idea not getting much play - why not shoot the boy and save the gorilla?

Dumb People Doing Dumb Things: Thee Optimist Awards

At the end of each year (starting now), we present Thee Optimist Awards to three (or more, or less) people who made a name for themselves through some combination of overconfidence, stupidity and breathtaking ineptitude.  In other words, people being people.  For 2015, the winners are...

What Does It Mean When You Get "Schlonged?"

According to Donald Trump, way back in 2008, Hillary Clinton got "schlonged" by Barack Obama.  She doesn't look happy about it.  What does Trump even mean by that?

Things to do in Siberia

This is a photo of five cheese factory workers in Omsk, which is a city in Siberia.  The men got drunk, took off all their clothes, and had a fun naked time partying in a vat of milk.  Said milk to be used to make, uh, yes... cheese... for other people to eat.  The men said they were bored.  Read on to see what else bored Siberians get up to.

5 Ways to Avoid Getting Killed in a Mass Shooting

Coming to a public place near you - Elliot Rodger, the so-called Virgin Killer of California.  There's plenty more where he came from.

Down With Progress

I wish I had one of these flags.

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7 Great Things About President Osama

So long, big guy.  Has this man been the best President of our lifetimes?

What is the Salton Sea?

A sexy muscle woman poses, for reasons unexplained, in front of the visually appealing, polluted, putrid, and mostly abandoned Salton Sea.  The Salton Sea has been in the news lately, and not for happy reasons... 

Is the Human Race an Invasive Species?

Voracious eater.  Violent predator.  Copious fornicator and rapid reproducer.  Clever, highly adaptable, hardy, rugged, and resilient.  Badly out of balance with its environment.  Multiplying out of control and quickly reducing the biosphere to dust.  What are the chances that this thing is on the wrong planet?

What's it like in a Zimbabwe prison?

This is Walter Palmer.  He is the newly famous dentist who killed Cecil the Lion in Zimbabwe.  The blinding white smile and pricey X-ray laser vision goggles obscure an important truth about Walter, which is... 

An Interview With Deranged Author Brian Whitney

Take Hunter Thompson.  Add crazy.  Has this man written the funniest novel ever?

Ear Infection Home Remedy Disaster

If this looks stupid, that's just because it is.

More Fun With ISIS

Ah.  The psychotic religious fanatics called ISIS.  So what have those guys been up to? 

What's the Matter with Kanye?

Once upon a time, pop star Kanye West said an amazing, powerful, courageous thing.  Since then, he has said many, many dumb things.  Below is the amazing thing, and just a smattering of the dumb ones.

What Can We Learn From Senegal?

Senegalese health worker preparing to treat Ebola patient.  Senegal has eradicated Ebola from within its borders.

Why Do Grown Women Have Sex With Teenage Boys?

The sad, sad faces of soon-to-be former teachers Rachel Respess (left) and Shelley Dufresne (right) at their police bookings for unlawful carnal knowledge of a minor.  The two women are accused of having three-way sex with a 16-year-old boy back in September.  Dufresne is a married mother of three children, for now.  Why did they do it?

Chimps Do Not Make Good Pets. But Bonobos?

The transformation of Charla Nash, who was badly mauled by Travis, a friend's pet chimpanzee, back in 2009.

How to Dispose of Your Old Cell Phone

It's big, it's beautiful, it has lots of pretty colors.  The iPhone 6 is here, which means it's time for an upgrade.  But what will become of your old phone?

M-A-R-S. Mars, Bitches. We are going to Mars.

It's funny, but we're really going, if these guys get their way...

Crisis in Venezuela: No More Breast Implants

A critical shortage of quality breast implants has hit Venezuela, demonstrating once again the short-sighted folly of socialism.

Why Don't We Just Wipe Out ISIS?

ISIS fighters (about to execute some poor schmuck in a jacket and a tie) are bad news in so many ways.  They are so bad, in fact, that they remind me of another group in recent popular culture.  Could it be...

Guns Don't Kill People. 9-Year-Old Girls Kill People.

She's gonna git ya!

What Does Suge Knight Do For a Living?

Suge Knight got shot.  Again.  Sometimes I worry about Suge.  I wonder how he's making ends meet.  Is he getting enough to eat? 

Will Ebola Wipe Out the Human Race?

The Triumph of Death, by Pieter Bruegel the Elder, circa 1562

Zombie Apocalypse Just Weeks Away in West Africa

Bad things are happening with the Ebola virus.  And if the current pattern continues, the bad things are about to get a whole lot worse.

The United States Military is One Large Clusterfuck

Remember this guy?  That should have been enough to scare you away from the military. 

Is the NFL Ready for Michael Sam?

The first openly gay player has been drafted into the NFL.  Is everybody ready?

Bring Back the Guillotine

Clayton Lockett was killed by the state of Oklahoma on Tuesday in a botched, 40-minute execution that observers said "looked like torture."

NYPD Twitter Backfire

Here's a nice photo of a tourist in New York City posing with a couple of friendly(ish) young cops.  Recently, the New York Police Department encouraged twitter users to post photos of themselves with members of the NYPD.  Within minutes, the results went predictably awry.  See photos below.   

The United States is an Oligarchy. Okay, So What Do We Do Now?

Things have gotten very, very bad for the good guys.  What can we do to save ourselves?

Terrorists in Nevada

This man is very pleased with himself.  His name is Cliven Bundy, and he is a terrorist.

Doing it Nazi-style in Ukraine

Ukrainian Member of Parliament (MP) Igor Miroshnichenko and some of his buddies beat the acting director of the national TV channel because they wanted him to resign.  Miroshnichenko is currently the deputy head of the Parliament's Committee on Freedom of Speech.

Go Ahead. Try This At Home

He calls himself Mustang Wanted.  He's a young Ukrainian daredevil with a short future ahead of him.

Rough Justice in Texas

No peeking, Lady Justice!  You're supposed to be blind.

Sex Parties of the Rich and Famous

The Killing Kittens sex club from England is coming to the United States.  Did you get your invitation yet? 

Did the CIA Create Mind-Control Slaves?

Senator Dianne Feinstein (D-CA) has accused the CIA of blocking a Senate investigation into the CIA's use of torture at secret prisons they run in other countries.  What else has the CIA been up to?

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Is This Man The Best Fake Amazon Reviewer in America?

James Otis Thach is a children's books author and compulsive writer of fake Amazon reviews.  He is taking the art form of writing fake Amazon reviews and turning it into... well, into an art form.

Three Weeks in China

A photo of a Chinese fashion model.

For Americans, There Is No Crisis In Ukraine - Here's Why

This man's name is Zbigniew Brzezinski.  He can tell you everything you need to know about why Russia invaded Crimea.  He wrote the book on it.

What I Learned on Fox News Today

This shifty-eyed man is clearly the enemy of the American people.

Who Could Say Anything Bad About The Dalai Lama?

This guy?  I love this guy.

Just What We Didn't Need - More Religious Freedom

A sign placed in the window of Rocco's Little Chicago Pizzeria in Tucson, Arizona, after Arizona legislators voted to pass SB 1062, a bill to increase religious freedom.

Woe to Live on

Republicans are fighting to deny extended unemployment benefits to millions of Americans.  In Sarasota, Florida, this is one of the better jobs currently available.