Why Read Thee Optimist?

Thee Optimist sees you.  Thee Optimist knows you.

Thee Optimist will make you a better version of yourself.  He will put 1,000 songs in your pocket.  He will make you taller, better-looking, with a whiter smile.  You will eat more, but weigh less.  You will get 6-pack abs without any effort.  You will smell like expensive cologne.  

You will be stronger, faster, and smarter.  Remember when you had zest for living and looked forward to every day?  You will feel that again.  The opposite sex (or the same sex, depending on your proclivities) will want you.  Badly.  They will embarrass and humiliate themselves just to get next to you.  You will throw flaming fireballs at your enemies.

All of that will happen just because you spend a little time with Thee Optimist each week.