FLORIDA.

What's Wrong With Texas?

They be some COVID-19 cowboys in Texas.  Texans were early adopters of the Great Reopening of America, once again proving that big hats do not equal big brains.  If I were modeling these styles, I would look equally as sheepish as this man does.

Here's a hint: Texas is doomed.

Lying Ass Motherfuckers

Unidentified old man lays on the ground and bleeds from the head in Buffalo after tough guy cops half his age pushed him down.

Trump and the "CoronaVirus"

No doubt about it, Donald Trump is the President of the United States.  He is therefore in charge of the Great American Coronavirus Response, ongoing now.

He is also an overlarge, orange manbaby.  He routinely demonstrates the attention span, self-absorption, and intellectual capacity of a four-year-old boy.

In the interest of science, Thee Optimist has hazarded a few guesses about what runs through that tiny little mind of his, when thinking about the worldwide pandemic currently threatening the world.

Yes, please do.  Feel free to leave your own clever captions in the comments section below.

Why We Love Tattoos

Unless she's diabetic, the above sweet gal probably had a different kind of "pee" in mind for her tramp stamp.  But no matter.  Tattoos are meant to be fun.  

Coronavirus: Game Over?

Just a typical day in Wuhan, China.  Man relaxing in a local park, not a care in the world.  Little does he know that medical experts are actually worried this time.

Get Stoned and Make Barbie Porn

Lil McGill gets stoned and engages in some carpentry.  Barbie loves how her new Dream House comes out.