Sunday, March 8, 2020

Why We Love Tattoos

Unless she's diabetic, the above sweet gal probably had a different kind of "pee" in mind for her tramp stamp.  But no matter.  Tattoos are meant to be fun.  

Thee Optimist is a fan of tattoos.  Not for himself, mind you.  

He's a big sexy white man, with no reason to defile his beautiful skin in this way.  

But for the rest of you folks?  Yes!  People have been getting tattoos for at least five thousand years, and as human IQs fall off a cliff, this ancient art is better than ever. 

So full steam ahead.  Ink up, with the (dum)best ideas you can possibly think (?) of. 

This person loves her mom.  In fact, her mom is her angle.  Or single.  Or sngle.  But probably angle.  

I feel good about this tattoo.  You might even say it's close to my heart.  That's because my mom is also my angle.

Are you reading this, Mom?  You're my angle.

Back in high school, this young lady was the prome queen.  We're not sure what "prome" is.  But it sounds like something sexual, and we like that.

This is your next tattoo.  It will show off you're command of the English language.

Obviously there's a comma missing here.  But that's okay.  It happens.

The tattoo should read: A Love Thicker, Then Blood.

This future Nobel Prize winner has no regerts about getting this tattoo.

In this case, we're only talking about one regert to... uh... not have.

In a similar vein, this person has no ragrets.  Thee Optimist has none, either.

Note to self: DO NOT noh.  You will ragret it.

I love that song!  Sing it with me, will you?  

This is fine.  It works.  She's got an Incredible Hulk thing happening, and Thee Optimist digs that.

This... um.  Thematically, there isn't as much unity.  Still hot, though.  Still what's happening on the streets right now.

The checkerboard head saves it.  There is nothing wrong with this man's mind.

Only God will juge any of us.  

"God," in this case appears to be the grim reaper, but okay.  In the absence of God, the reaper will joodg us.  

Otzi the Ice Man.  In 1991, he was discovered, very well preserved, under thawing ice in the Alps, on the border of Austria and Italy.

He is thought to have died around 3300 BC, at the age of 45 years.  God couldn't joodg him, because Otzi lived more than 2,000 years before the Old Testament was written - our idea of God wasn't even invented yet.  Amazing.

It appears that Otzi died in combat, from blood loss after being shot or stabbed with an arrow.  He was also clubbed in the head.

Otzi had 61 tattoos.  They are the earliest known tattoos on a human being.

Thanks, Otzi.  You got us headed in the right direction.

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