What Does It Mean When You Get "Schlonged?"

According to Donald Trump, way back in 2008, Hillary Clinton got "schlonged" by Barack Obama.  She doesn't look happy about it.  What does Trump even mean by that?

Things to do in Siberia

This is a photo of five cheese factory workers in Omsk, which is a city in Siberia.  The men got drunk, took off all their clothes, and had a fun naked time partying in a vat of milk.  Said milk to be used to make, uh, yes... cheese... for other people to eat.  The men said they were bored.  Read on to see what else bored Siberians get up to.

5 Ways to Avoid Getting Killed in a Mass Shooting

Coming to a public place near you - Elliot Rodger, the so-called Virgin Killer of California.  There's plenty more where he came from.

Down With Progress

I wish I had one of these flags.

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7 Great Things About President Osama

So long, big guy.  Has this man been the best President of our lifetimes?

What is the Salton Sea?

A sexy muscle woman poses, for reasons unexplained, in front of the visually appealing, polluted, putrid, and mostly abandoned Salton Sea.  The Salton Sea has been in the news lately, and not for happy reasons... 

Is the Human Race an Invasive Species?

Voracious eater.  Violent predator.  Copious fornicator and rapid reproducer.  Clever, highly adaptable, hardy, rugged, and resilient.  Badly out of balance with its environment.  Multiplying out of control and quickly reducing the biosphere to dust.  What are the chances that this thing is on the wrong planet?

What's it like in a Zimbabwe prison?

This is Walter Palmer.  He is the newly famous dentist who killed Cecil the Lion in Zimbabwe.  The blinding white smile and pricey X-ray laser vision goggles obscure an important truth about Walter, which is... 

In Case You Missed It: Why Don't We Wipe Out Isis?

ISIS fighters (about to execute some poor schmuck in a jacket and a tie) are bad news in so many ways.  They are so bad, in fact, that they remind me of another group in recent popular culture.  Could it be...

An Interview With Deranged Author Brian Whitney

Take Hunter Thompson.  Add crazy.  Has this man written the funniest novel ever?

Ear Infection Home Remedy Disaster

If this looks stupid, that's just because it is.

More Fun With ISIS

Ah.  The psychotic religious fanatics called ISIS.  So what have those guys been up to? 

What's the Matter with Kanye?

Once upon a time, pop star Kanye West said an amazing, powerful, courageous thing.  Since then, he has said many, many dumb things.  Below is the amazing thing, and just a smattering of the dumb ones.