Tuesday, December 22, 2015

What Does It Mean When You Get "Schlonged?"

According to Donald Trump, way back in 2008, Hillary Clinton got "schlonged" by Barack Obama.  She doesn't look happy about it.  What does Trump even mean by that?

So yesterday, Donald Trump took the 2016 presidential race to the strangest place yet.  He did this by suggesting that back during the Democratic primary of 2008, Hillary Clinton (who at the time was a candidate for president), got "schlonged" by Barack Obama.

If you're like many people, you might not be up to the minute on the latest slang terms.  That's why you have Thee Optimist.  We've done a little research, and determined the following:

The word "schlong" is Yiddish for "penis."  Yiddish is a thousand-year-old language originated by Jews living in Central Europe.  It is closely related to modern German, with generous sprinklings of Hebrew and Slavic vocabulary.  Schlong, for example, is thought to come from the German word for snake, "schlange."

Lots and lots of fun Yiddish words have found their way into mainstream English, apparently at first because of Jewish vaudeville comedians using them to get laughs.  Such words include: putz, schmooze, schmo, glitz, kvetch, dreck, schlock, and many others.

We know what a schlong is, but what does it mean to "get schlonged?"

This is a slightly more complicated problem.  To solve it, we went to that well-regarded compendium of facts, the Urban Dictionary.

According to the Urban Dictionary, there are three possible uses of the word schlonged.  They are:

- To get very drunk, as in "I got totally schlonged at the bar last night."

- To hit someone or thing, as in "I schlonged that ball a mile."

- To hit someone with your erect penis, generally in the face (also known as a cockslap).

We will let you decide for yourself which meaning Trump had in mind. 

"Oh yeah.  You know what I did."

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