Tuesday, February 12, 2013

How to Smuggle Dope into the US from Canada

The Peace Arch border crossing between British Columbia and Washington State.

When you think of the phrase "illegal drug trade," you probably don't often think of the word "Canada" during that same thought.  Usually, you probably think the word "Mexico."  This is natural, because the drug trade from Mexico gets all the headlines.

It turns out that Canada, and especially the province of British Columbia, is one of the major sources of high-quality marijuana coming into the United States.  The Council on Hemispheric Affairs estimates that anywhere from 60% to 90% of all the marijuana grown in Canada is smoked in the United States.  The trade could amount to as much as $20 billion a year, making marijuana the most lucrative agricultural product Canada produces, one that employs hundreds of thousands of people.  

So let's just say you want to bring some of this dope into the US for yourself.  The border between the two countries is 4,000 miles long, and not exactly what you'd call heavily defended.  Even so, it might not be immediately obvious how to go about it.  Here is a way that has been described to me by someone who has pulled it off.  The method isn't without risks, but has apparently worked more than a dozen times without a single failure.  Proceed with caution in any event, and don't blame me if something goes horribly, horribly wrong.

You will need three things to carry out this method: a reliable car, outfitted with a secret storage compartment; a good place to cross; and a mule to carry the drugs, one who is unlikely to attract much attention.

1. The Car.  Pretty much any late-model sedan in good to excellent condition will do.  The inside is clean and well-kept.  The outside doesn't have to be immaculate, but no big dents, no broken lights, no obvious rust.  Depending on the size of the load you want to bring across, you have options on where and how to build your storage compartment.  For example, you can create a false bottom in your trunk.  If you're planning to bring a lesser amount across, you can always build a compartment inside your dashboard.  The possibilities are as wide as your imagination.

2. The Crossing.  An excellent place to cross is the Peace Arch border crossing between Blaine, Washington and Surrey, British Columbia.  It's a good place because it's close to where the dope is grown.  It is also a hugely busy border crossing, the busiest US-Canada crossing west of Detroit.  The sheer volume of visitors means that most visitors are unlikely to get much scrutiny from the border guards.  Further, this is a crossing that literally thousands of bargain-hungry shoppers from Canada pass through each day.  The combination of high sales tax in Canada; the rise to parity of the Canadian dollar; an increase in duty-free limits; and American free-trade policies that mean retail stores in the US are cheaper than ones in Canada, make the big box stores in Bellingham, WA an irresistible destination for Canadians.  This is important because your mule is going to look like a shopper.

3. The Mule.  First and foremost, the mule is someone who can remain calm during stressful situations.  If everything goes according to plan, the mule will have to do no more than exchange a few pleasantries with the border guard.  Considering she'll be driving a car loaded with illegal drugs, this would be enough to give a normal person a very visible nervous breakdown.  Your mule will not be a normal person.  She will be Grace Under Fire.  And yes, it will be a she.  Your mule should be a woman, middle-aged to early senior citizen, wearing nice, but casual and comfortable clothes.  See, your mule is going bargain shopping at the Costco in Bellingham. 

As an aside, make sure your mule is a white woman.  Under no circumstances try to send anyone of any other race across as a mule.  An open secret about the US-Canadian border crossings is that racial minorities get hassles that white people don't get.  Also, when the mule goes home at the end of the day or the next morning, carry the cover story through to the end and make sure the car is full of stuff that she purchased at Costco during her visit to the United States.  Hell, make sure she has the receipt. 

There you have it.  A three-step tried and true method for bringing dope over from Canada.  Give it a shot, be careful, and let me know how it goes.