That time Robert Kennedy, Jr., hit on my future ex-wife

The current US Secretary of Health and Human Services Robert F. Kennedy, Jr., having a bit of fun with a dead bear cub.  Kennedy accidentally ran over the cub on a highway in upstate New York in 2014.  He kept the corpse and intended to freeze it and eat it.  But he found himself late for a flight, so he dumped the carcass in Central Park instead, hoping people would think it got run over there.  He told reporters he has "been picking up roadkill my entire life.  I have a freezer full of it."

 

Nearly 30 years ago, Thee Optimist met Robert F. Kennedy, Jr.

This wasn't something unusual.  Thee Optimist spent a period of about 10 or 12 years where he tended to meet famous people a lot.  It wasn't as if the famous people would remember meeting Thee Optimist.  It was just a thing that happened.

An example, you ask?

Sure.

One night, Thee Optimist was at a cocktail party in Manhattan to support the American branch of the excellent international medical charity, Doctors Without Borders.

Thee Optimist was friendly with the fundraising director of that organization, who was a man that sweat a lot.  He had a big, high-pressure job and he would sweat so much that you might think the job made him nervous, which it did not do.

He was exceptionally good at the job.  He just naturally perspired more than the average person.  A lot more.  

So he came up to me at the party, and it was as if he was hiding a garden sprinkler system under his jacket.  He looked like he was drowning.  And he said:

"Optimist, there's someone here you HAVE to meet."

I said, "McCourt?  I've already met him.  Twice.  He's a jerk."

"Not Frank," he said.  "Someone else.  Someone very special."

I followed him along through the crowd, and he brought me to a quiet corner, where he introduced me to Iman.  Then he left the two of us there, chatting awkwardly.

"So..." I said.  "How's that supermodel thing going?  They treating you okay?"

Iman Mohamed Abdulmajid, circa 1996, around the time I met her.  Yes, I know it's frowned upon to show her without David Bowie. 

But this is a post about Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. 

Yes, it is.  

And if you've hung around this long, waiting for me to get to that part, your patience is about to be handsomely rewarded.

In that same, aforementioned era, Thee Optimist was involved in the environmental movement, especially in the Hudson Valley of New York.  

As you probably know, the large majority of American environmental activists are well-meaning white people.  I have no idea why this would be so.  Maybe a study should be commissioned on it?

At the time, Thee Optimist was a young, big, good-looking white guy, and was dating his future ex-wife, a young, beautiful African-American woman. 

View related article: It Happened to Me: I Was Married to a Black Woman for 7 Years, and Suddenly I Realized Everybody is Dumb as Shit Anyway

Well-meaning white people are a very inclusive group.  If you are an exceptionally good-looking minority, who is well-educated and speaks standard American English, they will quickly embrace you as one of their own.

My future ex-wife checked all of these boxes.  Although she spoke like a black person in front of other black people, she quickly code-switched when the audience was predominately white.  

What's more, she had a phenomenal singing voice, which led to her performing duets on more than one occasion with the then 70-something, world-renowned folk musician, civil rights, anti-war, and environmental activist, Pete Seeger.

A chart-topper in the 1940s, Pete Seeger lived long enough to become a cultural icon and share the stage with Thee Optimist's future ex-wife.

RFK Jr. hadn't gone crazy yet.

In the 1990s, Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. was a former heroin addict turned very well-regarded environmental activist, with large personal wealth and family connections to bring to his work. 

In particular, he was a founder of the pioneering clean water organization, the Hudson Riverkeeper.  As a lawyer, in 1996, he helped orchestrate the $1.2 billion New York City Watershed Agreement, which held upstate corporations accountable for their pollution of the Hudson.

The anti-vax madness had not yet begun. 

The worms had not yet ate into his brain.

He was not yet an HIV/AIDS denialist, at least not in public.

What had begun were the many, many affairs (which apparently continue).

At the time we met, he was married to Mary Kathleen Richardson Kennedy.  During the marriage, RFK Jr. engaged in countless extramarital affairs and liaisons.

People who knew him well described him as "a lifelong philanderer."  He would often send explicit photos of nude women to his friends.  Though he never made it clear, they assumed that he took the photos.

Mary Kennedy killed herself by hanging in 2012.  She and RFK were going through a divorce, and the final straw appears to have been that she found a personal diary of his, recounting 37 women he had sex with in the year 2001.

RFK, Jr. and Mary Kennedy in happier (?) times.

Flash backwards to 1996, or thereabouts. 

There is a fundraising concert going on at a venue along the Hudson River.  The guest of honor is none other than the aging folk singer Pete Seeger. 

As happened once in a rare while, Thee Optimist's then-girlfriend was on stage, doing a duet with Seeger.  It was probably "This Little Light of Mine," or "I'm Sticking To The Union," or some such song from a much earlier time.

It was in fact the final song of the concert.

Thee Optimist was backstage, watching from the wings, along with some other people.  Then he noticed RFK, Jr. had appeared in front of the stage, just below it and to the right.

Thee Optimist, who was not in the show, had no intention of appearing on stage that day.  He was just supporting his future ex-wife, and enjoying the proceedings.

The song ended, the crowd of well-meaning white people erupted in prolonged applause, and Robert F. Kennedy, Jr., a much younger man than he is now, leapt onto the stage.  

Then he made a beeline for the two singers at the front.

Thee Optimist at first assumed (somewhat naturally) that RFK was rushing to greet the living legend Pete Seeger.

Not so.  

RFK was rushing to greet the young black woman who had sung so beautifully with Pete Seeger.  He shook her hand, introduced himself, and then he hugged her.  

He made rapturously appreciative facial expressions as he talked to her.  All while studiously ignoring Pete Seeger's existence.

In fact, RFK was shamelessly obvious in his intentions.  

"That motherfucker," Thee Optimist said, then walked out onto the stage during the ongoing ovation, shook hands with RFK, Jr., and introduced himself.

"Hi.  I'm Thee Optimist.  I'm just out here mate guarding."

"I'm Robert Kennedy," he said, in this weird, frog-like croaking voice that momentarily astonished me.  I'd never heard him speak before.  

Then our group of four stood around uncomfortably until various dignitaries and functionaries appeared on stage, making the thing seem more palatable.

The man clearly has problems.  

They might even be demons.

 

The servant of Beezlebub, Robert Kennedy.

Words of Wisdom

“We should not be giving Black people the same vaccine schedule that’s given to whites, because their immune system is better than ours.”

- Robert F. Kennedy, Jr.